My blog

Tag: mental health

  • The Echolalia Quirk.

    also known as the ability to out-do Spotify.

    Echolalia – repetition of words just spoken by another person. Occurring with certain neurological, Neurodevelopmental or mental conditions.

    Echolalia is common with ADHD, Autism spectrum disorder and Tourette’s syndrome. The repetition can be words or phrases. Researchers believe this symptom happens due to frontal lobe dysfunction. This is the area of the brain that manages your thoughts, movements and memory.

    There are three theories relating to this.

     Dopamine dysregulation theory, is where too much, or too little can affect the way your brain tells your body how to communicate.

    The broken mirror neuron theory is where specialised neurons aren’t working as expected.

    The wealth of stimulus hypothesis, is where there is a disconnect between what you learn and how your body responds to it.

    But now for, echolalia and me…. certain words sound and physically feel nice to say, other AuDHDers would say the same.

    PIG.

    Photo by Cats Coming on Pexels.com

    PIG is a word that feels great to say over and over and OVER again. Though PIG feels great for me to say, some people may take offence, if they walk past me in the street. I really have to bite my tongue sometimes.

    Chick, Chick, Chick, Chick, Chicken

    There was an eventful shopping trip once. Whilst packing my shopping at a fast pace (I won’t name the shop), this one particular time, I had bought a pack of chicken breasts. Now I must say that with every item I put in the trolley I had said the name of it in my head. Back to the chicken, well the word “chicken” just seemed to roll off the tongue. It rolled off the tongue in the form off a song and let’s just say it wasn’t an inner monologue. I was in my happy oblivious world of white dancing hippos, fluffy clouds and tiramisu (yum). my husband caught my attention and as the white hippos took their bow, I realised where I was and what I was doing. I apologised profusely and continued packing the trolley, unfortunately I now had naked chickens dancing through rainclouds, going through my head.

    Thank You for the Music.

    Photo by Jepoy Fabian on Pexels.com

    Don’t get me started on songs…. Ok I’ve started. I seem to have a sub library of song lyrics available 24/7 at a moments notice, just call me Spotify on steroids. These can be blurted out at the most inopportune moments. At a male relatives funeral once, the speaker told us that “he always did it his own way” well here we go. I’m sat there head lowered, shoulders jiggling, not with tears but with giggles. Trying so hard not to channel my very own Frank Sinatra.

    Once a lyric is in my head it is repeated like a revolving door on black Friday. Just one line on repeat. I feel like a stuck gramophone. I am just glad I don’t have to pay the royalties.

    You can pick your friends but not your family.

    My family torments me sometimes, especially my adult daughter, knowing there are some phrases that trigger me.

    People of a certain age, ahem…. People who are old enough will understand the next few phrases. When my daughter feels in the mood to see me squirm, she’ll shout “Mother, I need to ask you something”. At this point I’ll stop doing whatever I’m doing and walk to the sound of her voice. “what’s up?” I’ll ask her. And this is where you’ll be old enough to know the answer or if you’re lucky enough not to know, ask your parents.

    with a totally straight face she’ll ask me…. Who lives at the bottom of the garden? My eyes close, and my lips purse as she laughs out loud, I say yep, yes, yeah down at the bottom of the garden, among the birds and the bees, live a lot of little people, called the Poddington peas. The conversations always go the same, but she’ll change the kids TV programme. Mum, where did Mr spoon go? Oh, for heaven’s sake, we’re off to Button Moon, we’ve followed Mr Spoon, Button Moon. Numerous Magic Roundabout quotes, oh Florence. Then here comes the big one…. BBBBbuuuuurrrrrkkkkKKEEEE – don’t you open that trap door, cos there’s something down there! Even as I write this, I’m singing all of these, lets see which one sticks till I fall asleep.

    You can find me by the sweetcorn….

    My life is surrounded by echolalia. I know it, my family know it. If I ever get lost in a supermarket all they have to shout is “der, der, der” and all day, every day I will answer back “Green Giant”.

    I’m predictable and stable with these stims. Sometimes they can be frustrating, but they are harmless. My family torment, but it’s done with love. I don’t have the maths ‘tism, but do I have the ability to remember lyrics, adverts and TV shows from over thirty years ago.

    So here I am signing off.

    Now where did Mr Spoon go?

    Kayleigh x

    Just pootling along

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  • Quirks and other Super Powers.

    and yes I did cringe at writing Super powers.

    As a relatively recent recipient of a diagnosis of Autism and ADHD (AuDHD), wow so many letters after my name. I haven’t written my acceptance speech yet. I was asked to compile a list of traits that I have. Traits, or Quirks as they are called in our house, vary person to person with a diagnosis on the spectrum. Most people with a diagnosis of Autism, ADHD or in this sarcastic world, both (two disorders that are polar opposites of each other), can relate to these traits.

    In these posts I’m going to look at some of my Quirks, can you relate to any of them?. I have an inquiring mind, tell me some of your Quirks. please share any tips and tricks that you use to navigate around them.

    I’d love to hear some of your stories.

    RIGHT, time to stop procrastinating (yep, that’s another Quirk).

    Just pootling along

    Kayleigh x

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  • Understanding AuDHD: My Journey of Masking

    ADHD, asd, autism, AuDHD, biography, bright lights, Chesterfield, complex case, COPING, CRISIS, Derbyshire, ECHOLALIA, LATE DIAGNOSIS, loud noises, MASKING, mental health, neurodiversity, overstimulated, resilient, STIMS, WOMEN

    Living with Autism: My Journey of Masking and Acceptance

    I am a forty-something, female living in the U.K, married with a daughter, I own my own home, I have been to university. I have held down a job. People who know me say they know me. Yet, there is one thing about me that most people do not know.

    This is hard for me. Not a lot of people know about my diagnosis. Some people reading this and who know me will be saying, “NO” she isn’t autistic. She doesn’t look autistic, but ……

    MASKING.

    I mask; I mask everything. I was diagnosed with autism and ADHD at a late age. It was before it became trendy with the tik Tokers of this world. I have masked since being a child. I was aware of this, but I can’t do anything about it. It is not something you can reverse easily.

    I watched people and how they acted. I mirrored them. I watched what they would say in situations. I mirrored them. I thought what I saw on television was how people acted in real life, so I mirrored that.

    I practiced conversations in my head before actually speaking. I have a library in my head for how to act and what to say. I was not being me; I did not know who I was, still don’t.

    Some women put a mask of makeup on before they leave their bedroom. I had to put on an entirely different me. I was a bubbly, friendly, helpful, clever girl. I seemed to grow up with no social anxiety, or so my exterior would have you believe.

    OVERWHELMING.

    Inside I was exhausted, both physically and emotionally, scared and alone. Music was my friend. Everywhere I went, my headphones and Walkman went with me. Here I can retreat from all the thoughts I had. Rapid thoughts of trying to interpret the overwhelming world around me.

    I have always had friendship groups around me. Yet, nothing has lasted throughout my entire lifetime. I have acquaintances—people I recognise with whom I can have those well-rehearsed conversations. I questioned why anyone would want to be friends with me. I didn’t even want to be friends with myself. I felt false and like a fraud, as someone on the outside looking in.

    DIAGNOSIS.

    When I was diagnosed with autism and ADHD, it is now known as AUDHD. I was asked how I felt about the diagnosis. I answered relieved. But, I have a head full of questions. Questions I am still trying to find the answer to, why was this not found before, when I was younger. If I had been diagnosed at a younger age would things of been different. Would life of been easier.

    I was diagnosed at a late age. At the time, I was in a committed relationship and had a fantastic job. I also had a teenage daughter. I had a nervous breakdown. I experienced audio and visual hallucinations. I imagined a tall bald man who wore a long purple coat living in my house. He followed me around and even spoke to me. The problem was that no-one else could see or hear him. This led me to the crisis team in my local area, I was pumped full of drugs and counselling. The drugs got rid of my bald friend. Yet, the diagnosis led to my discharge from the crisis team. It also caused my discharge from the mental health team. I went from having all the help I needed to nothing. Here is your diagnosis. Off you go into the world.

    DAY BY DAY.

    I am learning more and more each day about my disorder; I giggle at my ‘quirks.’ My husband and daughter tolerate me and my ways. I stim (repetition of words, sounds, and physical movements). I experience what I call ‘brain farts.’ During these moments, I don’t have a filter on what I say or when I say it. I have echolalia. I repeat tv and radio adverts and children’s tv programmes. My husband and daughter torment me. All they have to say is ‘who lives at the bottom of the garden.’ I must sing the theme tune to the poddington peas. Along with ‘oh look its Mr spoon,’ I must sing ‘we’re off to button moon.’ We’ve followed Mr spoon and button moon. Do not get me started on the magic roundabout.

    I get over stimulated in situations where there are bright lights, certain smells, loud noise, or too many people. In these situations, I freeze or shut down. There is too much happening, and my brain just can’t compute it. My brain chooses to either fight, flight, or freeze.

    ADAPTING.

    Masking in autism is a complex and deeply ingrained behaviour. It has significantly affected my mental and emotional well-being. Despite facing challenges, I stay resilient. I have learned to adapt and navigate the world with these conditions. The journey of self-discovery and acceptance is ongoing. There are moments of humour and connection with loved ones. Yet, the struggle with overstimulation and social interactions remains. Understanding and support from my family and friends are crucial in helping myself with my autism and ADHD. Learning to manage my symptoms and leading a fulfilling life.

    have you experienced anything similar, if so what are your hints, tips and tricks? how do you help yourself, have you managed to remove your mask completely? let me know your thoughts….

    Just pootling along.

    Kayleigh x

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    • Understanding the UK Prescription Postcode Lottery

      Kayleigh Northall

      Prescription Postcode Lottery in the U.K.

      The prescription postcode lottery in the UK is a significant issue that affects many patients. It refers to the variation in the availability and quality of healthcare services depending on where a person lives. This disparity can lead to unequal access to medications and treatments, which can have serious consequences for patients.

      One of the main reasons for this postcode lottery is the decentralisation of healthcare services. The National Health Service (NHS) is divided into various trusts and clinical commissioning groups (CCGs), each responsible for managing healthcare in their respective areas. This means that decisions about which medications and treatments are available can vary significantly from one region to another. For example, a patient in one area might have access to a particular medication, while a patient in another area might not.

      Another factor contributing to the postcode lottery is funding. Different regions receive diverse levels of funding, which can impact the quality and availability of healthcare services. Areas with higher levels of deprivation may receive more funding, but this does not always translate into better services. In some cases, funding may be insufficient to meet the needs of the local population, leading to gaps in service provision.

      The impact of the postcode lottery on patients can be profound. Those living in areas with limited access to medications and treatments may experience worse health outcomes compared to those in better-served areas. This can lead to increased health inequalities and a sense of injustice among patients who feel they are not receiving the same level of care as others.

      Addressing the prescription postcode lottery requires a concerted effort from policymakers, healthcare providers, and the public. Greater transparency in decision-making processes, equitable funding distribution, and a commitment to reducing health inequalities are essential steps in ensuring that all patients have access to the medications and treatments they need, regardless of where they live.

      Kayleigh Northall

      Just another WordPress site

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    • Urgent Need for ADHD Diagnosis Services in Derbyshire

      Kayleigh Northall

      The lack of attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) diagnosis services in Derbyshire has become a pressing issue, leaving many individuals and families struggling to find the support they need. Despite the increasing awareness of the disorder and its impact on people’s lives, the resources available in Derbyshire remain insufficient, leading to long waiting times and inadequate care.

      The demand for ADHD services has surged in recent years, but the healthcare system has not kept pace with this growing need. As a result, individuals often have to wait months, or even years, to receive a diagnosis. This delay can have significant consequences, particularly for children and young adults, who may struggle with their education and social interactions without the appropriate support.

      The shortage of specialist services in Derbyshire further exacerbates the problem. While there are some dedicated clinics and support groups, they are often overwhelmed by the sheer number of referrals. The ADHD Centre in Derbyshire, for example, offers comprehensive assessments and personalised treatment plans, but the high demand means that people are left waiting for extended periods.

      The lack of timely intervention can lead to a deterioration in mental health and well-being, as individuals often experience anxiety, depression, and low self-esteem. These mental health disorders can be treated individually with multiple medications, but the lack of a formal diagnosis leads to a lack of appropriate medication. Those individuals who are formally diagnosed, can access medication specifically designed to alleviate the symptoms of the disorder. This in-turn can mitigate the symptoms of anxiety and depression. They can also access further support from professionals who are specialised in this field, schools, councils, and therapy. Without the diagnosis of ADHD, these support systems are frustratingly just out of reach, leaving a feeling of being in limbo and unable to live their life to its full potential.

      Parents and caregivers are also affected by the lack of diagnosis services in Derbyshire. Many parents report feeling frustrated and helpless as they navigate the complex and often confusing process of seeking a diagnosis for their child. The Derbyshire Healthcare NHS Foundation Trust provides some support through its specialist Nursing Ser vice, which collaborates closely with the Community Paediatrician Service to offer assessments and medication management. However, the limited availability of these services means that families are left without the help they desperately need.

      The impact of the lack of ADHD diagnosis services in Derbyshire is not limited to children and young adults. Adults also face significant challenges in accessing the support they need. A numberless amount of adults go undiagnosed for years, struggling with symptoms that   affect their work, relationships, and overall quality of life. The ADHD Centre in Derbyshire offers services for adults, including diagnostic assessments, medication management, and psychological therapies. However, the high demand for these services means that many adults are left waiting for help, often feeling isolated and misunderstood.

      The lack of ADHD diagnosis services in Derbyshire is a critical issue that needs urgent attention. The long waiting times and shortage of specialist services are leaving individuals and families without the support they need to manage the challenges of the disorder. It is essential for healthcare providers and policymakers to address this gap in services, ensuring that everyone in Derbyshire has access to timely and effective diagnosis and treatment. By doing so, we can improve the lives of those affected and create a more inclusive and supportive community for all.

      Kayleigh Northall

      Just another WordPress site

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    • Understanding Late Autism Diagnosis in Women

      Kayleigh Northall

      Late diagnosis of autism in female adults is a topic that has been gaining attention in recent years. Women with autism often present differently than men, leading to misdiagnosis or under-diagnosis. This can result in a lifetime of social difficulties, sensory sensitivities, and mental health issues. However, receiving a diagnosis can have a positive impact on their confidence and self-esteem, helping them understand their past and navigate their future with better support and resources.

      Women with autism tend to camouflage their symptoms, a phenomenon known as “masking.” This can make it difficult for family, teachers, and primary care physicians to recognise the signs of autism. As a result, many women go undiagnosed until later in life, often after their children are diagnosed. This late diagnosis can be a double-edged sword. On one hand, it can bring relief and validation, helping women make sense of their past struggles. On the other hand, it can also bring up feelings of regret and anger for not being diagnosed earlier.

      One of the main reasons why women begin to wonder whether they have autism, is through a lifetime of social difficulties. Women with autism often find it difficult to read and respond to social cues. They may feel socially anxious, ruminate on their social interactions, and end up feeling left out and lonely despite their best efforts to be sociable. This can lead to a cycle of social failure and self-judgement, further exacerbating their mental health issues.

      Sensory sensitivity is another common trait among women with autism. They may have a heightened sense of awareness when it comes to smells, light, sounds and touch. This can make everyday activities like going shopping or crossing roads overwhelming and exhausting. Understanding and accommodating these sensory sensitivities can improve their quality of life.

      Receiving a diagnosis can be a turning point for many women. It can help them understand their past and navigate their future with better support and resources. Women who receive a diagnosis often find that it has a positive impact on their confidence and self-esteem. They may even become advocates or mentors for other women with autism. However, it is important to seek help for any childhood trauma they may have suffered due to their undiagnosed autism.

      Late diagnosis of autism in female adults is a complex issue that requires a greater awareness and understanding. By recognising the unique ways in which autism presents in women, we can ensure that they receive the support and resources they need to thrive. This can lead to a better quality of life and a more inclusive society for all.

      Kayleigh Northall

      Just another WordPress site

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